


Winter

by RegretSpaghet



Category: Life Is Strange (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Implied Relationships, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, References to Depression, Unhappy Ending, post Before the Storm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-03
Updated: 2018-01-03
Packaged: 2019-02-27 20:09:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,750
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13255719
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RegretSpaghet/pseuds/RegretSpaghet
Summary: Chloe is aware of their situation, yet chooses to ignore Rachel’s unfaithfulness as her friend and lover. Rachel knows the reasoning behind Chloe’s attitude but continues to neglect the truth in turn. They argue, they make up, yet nothing is ever resolved. Rinse and repeat. It’s a mess.





	Winter

**Author's Note:**

> So, after the conclusion to Before the Storm, I found myself in love with the soundtrack and it's artist: Daughter. I was listening to one of their songs named "Winter" and it inspired me to do a little story about my favourite couple. There is a little bit of canon divergence, but nothing too drastic. Basically I wanted to explore what the pair's relationship might have been like towards the end, since there is still a lot unanswered between them despite knowing what happens in both games. What started out as angst kinda delved into depressing territory. Oh well...

Its late into the night, though that seems unimportant at a time like this. Rachel stands outside in the darkened street by Chloe’s house, seeing the lights turn on in her room and a silhouette move towards the door to go downstairs. Rachel knows she shouldn’t be doing this, that it’s selfish and only reaffirming the issues between them, yet she feels when the days turn increasingly uneasy that Chloe is the only one she can turn to. The only one who understands.

Its like this most nights now. The rush of a high and then the low slowly sinking in, bringing with it all the pain Rachel is so desperately trying to ignore. She doesn’t even remember calling the punk after the party.

Things have been…tense between the two of them as of late. Rachel knows it’s her own fault, that they continually drift further apart as her habits of the night become more and more problematic the longer she stays in this accursed town. She knows what she wants and that she can never achieve those dreams here. But she can’t leave yet, trapped like a bird whose wings have been clipped, falling into a constant spiral of self-abuse and loathing. The relationship between the pair is strained to the breaking point. Chloe loves Rachel, wants nothing more to help her through whatever this is; she does everything she is capable of but it’s never enough. They’ve become complacent after the events that transpired all those years ago and Rachel finds herself bitter, branching out to other people to forget her woes while leaving Chloe to fend for herself, pushing away her concerns. She regrets every second of it.

Chloe is aware of their situation, yet chooses to ignore Rachel’s unfaithfulness as her friend and lover. Rachel knows the reasoning behind Chloe’s attitude but continues to neglect the truth in turn. They argue, they make up, yet nothing is ever resolved. Rinse and repeat. It’s a mess.

The front door opens, bleeding soft yellow rays over the dark of the concrete pavement and then Chloe is out in the street in a shirt and sleeping boxers, making a beeline at her with a sleepy scowl that informs Rachel that the actress has crossed a line.

“Rachel, it’s five in the fucking morning. What the _fuck_ -” She sees the smudged makeup and crumpled outfit as the shorter girl takes a step towards her.

The look of anger drains from Chloe’s face, brows raised and expression twisting into something resembling sadness and regret as Rachel falls into her; arms wrapped tightly around the punk’s upper frame and face buried into her neck. Chloe stands rigid for a moment before tentatively embracing her and rubbing her hands over Rachel’s back, cooing a reassurance that “hey…its ok.” when she feels the tears flow down the nape of her neck.

Its familiar. Soothing. Something that Rachel knows that she’ll keep returning to despite everything that has happened between them. She hates herself for it; hates how vulnerable she is with her, hates the need for her and that she can’t move past this perpetual cycle. She knows that Chloe can’t either; that they are intertwined within each other’s lives like that of a tapestry; that the more threads are pulled the uglier and messier things become until it threatens to unravel completely.

Rachel has continued to treat the punk like an afterthought as of late and she can see the grief in those blue eyes. She wants Chloe to shout at her, to tell her how fucked up things are between them and that Rachel is wrong for abandoning her for other people, for Chloe to be brutally honest with how she’s feeling. But the words don’t come, and the punk simply holds her as Rachel’s tears absorb into the black material of Chloe’s nightshirt, her scent of cigarettes and mint.

“You’ve been drinking again.” Chloe mutters.

It’s not a question, she can smell it on Rachel. The punk is all for every and any vice, yet she’s learnt the hard way of how far one can go before it’s not enough. She knows that drinking isn’t the only issue with the actress these days and that she can go well over in excess of her limits.

“…. yes.” Is the only reply.

There’s a pause.

“We can’t keep doing this….” The punk whispers fleetingly into the dark, untangling their embrace so they are facing one and other, her expression unreadable.

“I know.” Is all Rachel can say, words quiet. She can’t voice anything else for fear of what it might mean.

Chloe lets out something of a tired sigh and snakes an arm around Rachel’s waist, turning the pair to walk back into the house. She already knows how this will turn out; emotions laid bare but never enough for closure. Yet she desires something to shift whatever this is, tired of the constant back and forth as she closes the door behind them. They walk up the stairs in silence and enter her room. As the orange shade of the lamp coats Rachel in its glow, Chloe’s heart breaks again at the sight of her distressed features illuminated.

The actress can’t remember how many times she’s seen the same expression on Chloe’s face these days; the hurt in her eyes that she can never hide as she looks at her. It eats away at her inside, but Rachel can never bring herself to breach the subject. It would mean everything would come crashing down on top of them. She sits on the end of the bed as Chloe silently removes her shoes, jacket and jeans, discarding them without a care to the floor. The actress feels numb but is unsure if it’s from the alcohol or the emptiness clawing in the pit of her stomach.

Leaving the shorter girl in her shirt and underwear, Chloe shifts onto the bed, embracing Rachel and pulling her up the mattress with her. The bed creaks under their combined weight as the pair settle under the covers; Rachel resting her head on the punk’s chest and Chloe wrapping her arms lightly around the actress’s torso. Chloe absently kisses the other girl’s temple.

They lay in the soft light and as Rachel’s eyes close, Chloe finds herself thinking.

She doesn’t blame the actress for how she is behaving. The punk herself is still very self-destructive and depressed, so it wasn’t her place to judge. But her situation never seemed to get to the extent as things were now for Rachel. The drugs, the parties…the men. She knows Rachel is slipping, shattered into a million pieces and wants a new life after everything that happened between her father and true mother – It’s why she’s become so destructive, she’s trapped. Sometimes Chloe thinks that perhaps it was preferable to lie to Rachel the day she asked for the truth concerning her parents in the hospital…that in the end she had become the very thing her father was worried about. But the punk had made a promise and she would never back out of it when the actress had said that she was the only one she could trust. Chloe couldn’t be responsible for another lie in this girl’s life, it would destroy what they shared.

Yet it seems as if it was destroyed regardless. She wishes that Rachel would be open with her like she used to, to tell her what was killing her from within; not this continual showing up late at night, drunk and having a breakdown sort of exchange. Chloe was always there for Rachel as she herself had been once and it hurt that the two of them couldn’t simply just talk anymore. Even being in each other’s company was difficult sometimes. It’s almost as if Rachel was beginning to cut her out of her life now, like she had done with everything else from the past. Was Chloe the only remaining painful reminder of what was? Yet, she kept coming back to her time and time again. It was confusing.

No doubt the punk was angry and upset with the situation. She hated the liars and cheats at that damn school, hated that in the end Rachel had chosen them over her. She loathed herself for introducing the actress to Frank and that he hanged around the girl like a bee attracted to honey, supplying her with the means to physically and mentally escape their current reality. She despised that he would suddenly appear with her when the punk went to pick Rachel up and that the actress continued to brush off her worries about the subject with annoyance. When she learnt of what had transpired between the dealer and Rachel, she had broken down alone in the junkyard until utter exhaustion had forced her to sleep in the back of her truck. Yet she didn’t tell her she knew. She didn’t have to, it was already a silent acknowledgement between them.

Despite all this, Chloe can’t help but still love her, and she knows deep down that in all this bullshit, Rachel still loves her too. She sees it often enough on nights like these. Which is why the situation is all the more painful for the both of them.

Chloe can’t give what Rachel needs – She can’t follow her down her current path because she’s tried before, neither can she giver her the freedom to start anew. And she’s afraid of what that means. Afraid of being alone again. Perhaps that’s why she was so willing to forgive her for all that she had done, what she continued to do because it means that they don’t have to acknowledge the truth of who they are and what they mean to each other now.

There’s an ache in Chloe’s chest and she pulls their bodies close; a hand threaded into long, golden locks, stroking. As their legs tangle together, Rachel’s fingertips trace the outline of Chloe’s tattoo on her arm, her breath warm against the base of the punk’s collarbone. It feels _safe_ , it feels _good_. But they both know it’s a lie.

Rachel wishes for freedom and the chance to become someone new.

Chloe wants stability and someone who is always there for her.

With all that’s left unspoken, neither of them can give what the other craves anymore.

As Rachel falls asleep in her arms, Chloe breaths in the familiar scent of jasmine for the last time.


End file.
